Choices
It is no secret that my work and home life have collided into one huge twisted mess of anxiety and stress. Illness, extra work hours for Hubby and myself, a child dealing with the demands of high school have made for a rocky last few months.
But I have choices.
Yesterday, though not the longest work day in the past few weeks was my break point. My options were to let the stress take over or get on with it. I chose to get on with it.
But with that came another choice. Get on with it while acknowledging the stresses pressing in from home and work, or ignore them.
It is said ignorance is bliss, but I don’t believe so. Ignoring something means you have already noticed the issue to begin with.
With what felt like the weight of the world on shoulders that are fairly slight, the choice was mine to make. Ignore or do. The way I saw it, the best form of defence was to get on with things. Do a good job at work and at home. It was that or crumble. I’ve done crumble. Picking up the pieces was a long process.
Doing for me does not mean head down, ploughing on through. It means saying hello to the biting anxiety, acknowledging it is there, and dealing with it. The dealing with it becomes part of my doing. Part of the life, work, home balance.
The doing means remembering that some days are a wash, best left to their own devices; whether through ignoring the washing pile, getting take away or closing the office door at work and spending time instead re-setting play spaces. It means knowing that some days emails need to be answered, phone calls need to be made and paperwork tackled. That some days will be 14 hours long, and some blissfully short.
For me, if I am to do a good job in all parts of my life, my doing needs to be like this. Ignoring one part does not work. Letting the stresses and anxiety be heard helps me keep my head above the water, or on a bad day, lets me sit under the waves in a calm sea, letting the waves break over, but not on me.
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I think you and I cope in a very similar fashion. Acknowledge what’s there but remind yourself that with choices comes a certain level of power
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Naomi Reply:
August 16th, 2012 at 11:46 am
I like that! Having power over choices, over the stress and anxiety.
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I think you and I are quite similar in this. I am a get on and do it person. Get on and get through it. I find it harder to pick up the pieces if I let things fall to pieces. I was talking to my doc the other day about the fact that I can actually channel my anxiety some days. And I am quite proud of that. I can use it to benefit me so to speak. I like that too. It’s like admitting that it’s there, that it’s a part of me, but it doesn’t rule me. It doesn’t own me. It’s a label I wear, but it doesn’t define me. I am ok with that. Or at least I am now…. xxxx
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Naomi Reply:
August 16th, 2012 at 11:48 am
Yes, admitting it’s there is healthy. I didn’t for so long, and picking up the pieces from that took a very long time, and a fair amount of help from a psychologist. I like that you say it doesn’t define you, I feel like that too now. Once upon a time it owned a fair piece of me. xxx
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I hear you, Naomi. It’s great that you can listen to yourself. Mr & I talked only last night about my own spot. Everyone in this family has somewhere outside of home to be except me. That means all I see is a mountain of stuff I’m up to the back teeth with. There’s no walking away to come back to it refreshed. I need a time and place to be out for my mind to be stimulated. Working on ideas for this right now, because I already know I’ve slowed down and I don’t want to just one day stop. xxx
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Naomi Reply:
August 16th, 2012 at 3:57 pm
I understand so much about that. I think having space of your own is so important, it can take a while to find just what is right, but when you do find it, you’ll know. xxx
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I like to tackle things too, sometimes it depends what the things are though. This week my bundle is wobbly. I have given up grocery shopping to help get me through. This is proving an interesting dilemma at meal times and of course reminding me that really things still just need to get done.
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Naomi Reply:
August 17th, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Things do need to get done, but some weeks we wobble more than other weeks. The groceries can wait. I had a wobbly waiting time a few years ago when the supermarket made me teary. I avoided it for a while.
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Oh Boy Naomi – I feel your pain! I have felt like this so many times and I find there are times when coping with everything is better and weeks where it is all too much. I agree with you in that putting your head down and getting on with it is best – you feel better as you achieve things and they don’t hang over your head. I have also learnt that everynow and then you have to take a break (read a book or have some me time) even when there is so much else to do as you will revitalised. Also realise that you are doing the best that you can and that there will be times when not everything is perfect, however you did the best you could with your limited time/resources and be proud of that. Wishing you good luck!
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Naomi Reply:
August 17th, 2012 at 5:55 pm
I am all about stepping back and taking a break when needed. It’s what gets me trough the bad days. But I also know I need to be head down and doing somedays, though sometimes the doing can be just stepping back and stopping
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So well said. Not all days are going to be our ideals. Some days are anything but ideal. Noticing them for what they are, not what we want them to be is extremely helpful.
And then…..on those days when your ideals are met. Give them a big kiss, say hello and wish them well.
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Naomi Reply:
August 17th, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Couldn’t have put it better myself
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Dealing as part of the doing. Yes. I am the same. I just never had words to put it so eloquently before (that… makes no sense… but you know what I mean).
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Naomi Reply:
August 20th, 2012 at 7:27 pm
I know. X
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