I went shopping on Saturday afternoon. Now before you all start reminding me I am on a no new clothes for a year campaign… it was for the Green Eyed Girl’s birthday. And new undies for me. No way am I searching eBay for undies. Or op shops. Nuh uh.
So, there I was selecting undies. Cotton undies. Organic cotton no less. In a range of colours. Lovely. The style of said under garments? Granny. Not come-hither-you-are-getting-lucky-tonight-call-of-the-siren-knickers… just granny. Simple. Sensible. No bells. No whistles. High waisted, low leg knickers.
Last year I grabbed a pair of these organic-cotton-sensible-no-nonsense-undies as an after thought. I was looking at the control top undies, and decided that as I quite enjoyed breathing, I would not buy any more. Besides, when did it become so necessary to all have a perfectly flat (an somewhat unnatural) stomach? What message am I sending to children if I am ashamed of my body as it is? I digress.
Needless to say the afterthought underwear fast became my most favourite go-to pair. I loved them. And rightly so. They give no VPL*. They do not ride up and require the oh-so-hard-to-discretely-pull-out-from-between-butt-cheeks move. They cover my stomach without sucking me in, and they don’t do that annoying rolling down thing that control top undies do.
When I brought home my first pair, Hubby’s face fell a little. Ah yes, gone are the days of skimpy knickers. Well, mostly. My jeans (thankfully) are no longer so low I can’t bend down in polite society – I am not now, nor ever have been a plumber, neither has my arse.
I came across a few definitions in urban dictionary…
A pair of underwear which are usually A) larger than the woman who wears them. B) Very stretchy and elastic. C) The best pair of undies you’ll ever wear.
See that? The best pair of undies you’ll ever wear.
The definition goes on -
Most people frown upon them because, as we all know, the smaller your undies are, the cooler you are. But in terms of comfort and practicality they beat thongs by a mile or more.
Try (granny undies) once and you will never wear a rope up your butt again. (Besides really, come on! Why bother wearing anything at all if your gong to wear that little ropey thingy you call underwear) High cut pants* rule.
See that? High cut pants* rule.
I mean, it’s the urban dictionary. So it must be true.
And so it came to pass that I wear nothing but granny pants. Now, I might add they are neither baggy, nor grey through too many washes. Think Marilyn Monroe *cough*.
So, granny undies rule OK! ….OK?
Oh… and a word to the wise… be careful when you search for granny knicker images. Just saying!
*Visible Pant Line – come on… where have you been, even my son knows what this means. **
* the original urban dictionary version said panties… but that is one of the most evil words in the English language, so I hand to change it.