In a little over a week, I will be on my way to Sydney, cue excitement. While there I will be attending the inaugural Aussie Bloggers Conference. Cue more excitement. I will be meeting lots of bloggers I chat to on line sometimes daily, face to face. Can I get a squeee? I will be roomy with the ever so delightful Lucy from Diminishing Lucy. There will be hugs. (Yeah, did I warn you Lucy, I’m a hugger.)
On twitter, on blogs there has been a lot of talk about this conference. A lot of it has been around what to wear, and about feeling nervous at not so much meeting other people, but at what other people may think of the real as opposed to the online. People have been, some for the very first time, putting their real face as avatars. I am no different. I have obsessed about what to wear. I have worried people will not like me. I have worried I will be nervous and come across as aloof, which is what I have been told I do. I am already scolding myself every time I cross my arms, incase I do it at the conference and people read it the wrong way. I am clearly neurotic.
Being neurotic is nothing new to me. I have always known this about myself. I have always obsessed about clothes and what to wear. When I was five I even had a special outfit I changed into when I had been
slighted wronged in trouble to make myself feel better… hello purple flares, purple T with white trim, thick brown belt and hand me down brown sandals. Funky.
Fear of not being liked is, no doubt a hangover from the combination of moving schools a few times, and not figuring out soon enough that being myself is better than yearning to be someone else and acting a part. As well as a healthy dose of square peg syndrome.
The thing is, since I started blogging I have revealed a lot about myself. More than I did to most people face to face. People come, read, some comment, others don’t… and through it all I have found myself part of an amazing, funny, supportive, and intelligent community of bloggers.
So, why then am I worried about meeting these people face to face? I have already met some bloggers, and it has been great. No need for chat about the weather, we know a lot about each other already so when we do meet, it’s more like old friends. These meet ups have been a pleasure really.
I have come to the conclusion that a little worry is alright. I think we are all, bloggers, non bloggers, if we are honest, at least a little worried about not being liked, about making a bad impression, about being left out. We are after all human.
So, as I make final decisions on what to pack, and work out how many just-in-case changes of clothes I can fit in my luggage I will remind myself that I will be meeting some amazing people, that I will not need to hide in the corner, and that we are all feeling the same way. And, as the title of my blog suggests I may partake of a wee drink before the official wine o’clock time, really, all I need to do is turn up with a glass of wine in my hand to appear as real as I do in my blog. No problem.
And if all else fails, I’ll change into purple flares and brown sandals.